Waitress

Well, I'm bored, and as I was writing my Hairspray article earlier for Brown Paper, I figured I might as well start posting the articles that I write for the publication on this blog as well, seeing as they are technically 'creative writings' of mine. (Note that this is the original article, but for the actual publication, I had to cut it down by about a third, as I was only permitted one A5 page, and in its original format, it took up one and a half pages.)
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If you want film related articles, you will get film related articles. Be ready for them. There should be one every issue, and even if you're not a big fan of films, you might as well read them. You might learn something. Hell, you might even gain an interest in the subject. I hope nobody expects me to summarise or review these films for them, though. That’s not my job. There are plenty of magazines, newspapers or websites you could check out for that sort of information. My purpose is to talk about the films on a more personal level, and put them into context a little for you. Hopefully you’ll then find a good reason to watch them.

Waitress
Who it's for: people who like pie, Nathan Fillion, comedy, romance, southern accents, or just seeing the good guy/gal win without it being horribly cheesy and clichéd. Also for people who are bored or for those who just happen to like to watch lots and lots of films
Who it’s directed by: Adrienne Shelly
When it came out: 2007

There are a number of perfectly valid reasons as to why you should see this film at some point in the near future. Firstly, if you’ve got heart, you’ll be going out of sympathy. Adrienne Shelly - writer, director, and co-star of the film - was killed last November. Some 19 year old Ecuadorian kid got a bit upset when she complained to him about the noise he was making in the apartment below her; he punched her, and - believing her to be dead - hung her from her shower-curtain rail, which strangled her, all in an attempt to make her death look like a suicide. Obviously he got found out eventually, though. Shelly’s performance as Dawn is haunting to watch; knowing that the woman on the screen is not only dead, but murdered - and so recently, too - makes you feel slightly uncomfortable, even though the character is sweet and thoughtful and makes you laugh at her simplicity. You owe it to Shelly to watch this film, her last project.

Another thing: the film stars Nathan Fillion. His may not be a name you’re particularly familiar with; he’s no A-list celebrity, certainly, and he’s definitely not a household name (unless you mean specifically in my household, anyway), but the difference between he and many of those who are is that he deserves to be more well-known. In the words of Empire magazine, he is “a man who improves any movie by 27 percent with his charming befuddlement”. That’s rating him highly if you ask me. If you’re a fan of LOST, you should remember him as Kevin, the police officer Kate was married to, shown in flashbacks in the season 3 episode ‘I Do‘. Alternatively, if you love the Joss Whedon ‘verse, you may remember Caleb from season 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. His most well-known role, however, is Captain Mal Reynolds in Whedon’s [sadly cancelled] TV show, Firefly (later, a film - Serenity - was released as a follow-on, in which Fillion reprised this role). It’s impossible to not love Mal; he’s bumbling, cheeky, funny, sweet, and essentially a bit of a rogue (read: Han Solo-ish). Nathan Fillion brings many of these qualities to Dr. Pomatter, the gynaecologist who has an affair with Waitress’s main character, Jenna (played by Keri Russell). If you’ve never seen Fillion in anything before, you might as well go see this. Even though Dr. Pomatter has zero valid reasons for having the affair, the whole point is that for Jenna, it’s acceptable; her life and dreams are crushed by her husband, who treats her like property, and who cries like an absolute baby whenever she does something to displease him. Jenna is made a free woman when she starts the affair, albeit intermittently, and because he’s so nice, and treats her so much better than her husband does, we love Fillion’s character (and, really, who can blame her for liking him?).

This film genuinely deserves a lot of credit. It was snapped up at the Sundance film festival earlier this year, where it received a standing ovation, and has been lauded by critics. Some are passing it off as this year’s Little Miss Sunshine; it’s original, funny, and - most importantly - real. It’s not a Hollywood movie; the main character’s life is not perfect by the end; and she does not become a princess, or marry a prince, and have lots of beautiful babies/Dalmatians/fine, exquisite clothing (there’s just one baby). Russell is the main focus; Jenna has a lot of problems in her life, and although the characters of the supporting cast have issues too, none of them equate to hers. But the fact that these people do have problems makes the story so much more believable: a weird, spontaneous poem-spouting blind date, who won’t give up on Dawn, despite being unwanted; a baby that - despite being unborn - is already unloved; Becky’s wonky boobs; and, of course, the gorgeous gynaecologist (that should be a book title, really). If any of the things on the who’s it for list apply to you, you’d do well to watch this film. Go on, go for it.

Written by The Duke

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Acerba Sorte

There was once a time when Virginia applied the ancient adage of 'it's the small things that matter' to her life. She always insisted to her relatives and friends that it was no trouble at all to help them out, whether they required books to be collected from the local library on the way home, or needed someone to mow their lawn. Of course, they all loved her. When I think back on her memories, I can see how they looked at her; she wouldn't have noticed it – she was too modest – but they knew she was good. They envied her generosity and kindness. “She has a beautiful heart,” they used to say about her, clearly unaware of how sickening their display of affection was.

What a horrible shame it is, then, that her beautiful heart could not save her. She had been planning to visit her grandmother that evening, 'grandma' being a bug-eyed old woman with a crooked back, and had bought her some pork chops for her supper. Perhaps it was just a random attack; perhaps it was simply that her blood had a particularly attractive smell that night; perhaps her attacker had been stalking her for months. Regardless of the reason behind it, she was sired that night. For a week, I watched her family fall apart, revelling at their weakness and wasted tears. I did not kill them; that would have been too merciful. Instead, I let them worry. I could not enter their house, but I did not need to; from the balcony, I could hear her mother's awful sobs, muffled by pillows. I marvelled at how all these lives had been ruined by a single action, and aspired to achieve something similar. I drank from the boy next door one night, whose blood was particularly delicious – youthful and energetic - and abandoned his drained corpse on the doorstep of his parents' house, and then I left that street forever.

It was an immense temptation to reveal myself to everyone she had ever known. Utilising her memories, I could remember them all: the first boy she had ever kissed; her best friend from University; even her favourite teacher at primary school. Often I imagined the looks on their faces when they saw what they thought had been the young woman they loved suddenly transformed, stronger than they could imagine, faster, and – it cannot be denied – much better looking. I dreamed of meeting them all, and telling them of how Virginia was tragically no longer with us, and then gliding forward and sinking my teeth through their tense flesh with the sweet, red ecstasy gushing forth into my mouth, and I would wake from these dreams excited and anxious.

People would see Virginia's demise as a terrible thing, but in my eyes it is simply a release from the frailty of human life, and the path to something greater. Her soul is gone, and I am sent to replace her; it's the cruel things that matter.

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